Being a caregiver to a loved one is both an honor and a privilege. But it can also bring additional stress into your life, as you navigate the emotions and responsibilities that come with tending to another person’s needs and looking out for their best interests.

In particular, taking another person to medical appointments can cause anxiety for both parties: there are emotion-filled waiting rooms and sometimes long waits; unexpected expenses; different personalities in the office to contend with; challenging health topics and diagnoses; and, sometimes, hurried healthcare providers who may not take the time to explain everything in a way you can understand. All of this, at a time when your loved one already isn’t feeling their best.

April is National Stress Awareness Month, and it’s a good time to tackle the things that give you stress and, if possible, find ways to make them more manageable. To help you do that, we’ve come up with some handy tips to guide caregivers through the next healthcare appointment and, we hope, make it a smoother, more relaxed process for everyone involved.

Questions to ask before the visit

• Will the office accommodate my loved ones’ needs? Consider the physical limitations that your care partner lives with. It’s important to find out whether a healthcare provider’s office will be accommodating to any mobility or accessibility needs. For example, can wheelchairs get in and out of the office with ease? Or, if your care partner is sensitive to noise, or needs extra time to get around, would an appointment early or later in the day be helpful? Are telehealth appointments available? Share your concerns with the front desk when you make an appointment and ask if there are accommodations they can make to put your mind at ease.   
• Will I be able to access my loved one’s health information? In order to attend to your loved ones needs and follow up on their care, you’ll want to make sure that you can get the information you need about their diagnoses, medical test results, insurance coverage, prescriptions and more. Talk to the provider’s office and to your health insurance company to make sure you’ll be able to get this information. For example, you may need to sign a HIPAA authorization form for each entity.

Questions to ask during the visit

• What can you tell me about their condition? If your loved one is diagnosed with a medical condition, ask for any details you can, and write down or record what the doctor says (you can download an app on your phone to do this, but be sure to let the doctor know you are recording). Some helpful questions include:
• • What is the name of the condition?
  • What are the symptoms?
  • How do you expect it to progress?
  • What steps can we take to manage or treat the condition?
  • What changes are a cause for concern?
  • What changes should I tell you about?
• Are there any limitations that he or she has? If a health condition or age-related concern is impacting your loved one, he or she may want to limit certain activities, such as driving, lifting heavy objects, eating certain foods, exerting themselves or changing any number of personal habits. Of course, any limitations can be hard to hear. Your healthcare provider can give you guidance here.
• Are there other specialists or other professionals who could help? Depending on what your loved one is experiencing, it’s possible that a bigger care team could be beneficial. For example, perhaps a physical therapist or massage therapist could help with any pain or movement challenges; or a nutritionist could advise on dietary changes; a therapist could help navigate any emotions or anxiety; or a home health provider could offer assistance; or a specialist could offer a second opinion or be an additional valued voice in the person’s care.
• What can I do, as the caregiver, to assist them? While you know your loved one best, it’s likely that you’re accustomed to an established routine and role. Your healthcare provider may be able to offer ideas and suggestions you haven’t thought of that could prove helpful. In addition, by opening up this dialogue it gives you, your loved one and the provider a chance to talk about what’s working and what’s not working at home.
• What can you tell me about a particular prescription drug? Whether your loved one is prescribed a new medication, or has been taking one for a while, now is the chance to ask any questions you might have, such as queries about the drug’s benefits, possible side effects, instructions on when and how to take the medication (e.g. morning or night? On an empty stomach or with food?), and any restrictions to be aware of when taking the medication, such as impaired driving or drowsiness. If cost is a concern with a medication, ask if a generic or alternative option could also be effective.
• What are our care instructions when we get home? Here, again, be sure to take notes or record the conversation so you remember the steps to take after the visit. Doctor’s information can come fast and furious, and it’s not uncommon to leave the office feeling like the experience was a blur! It’s also perfectly acceptable to request written instructions from the doctor to take with you.
• What steps should we take for follow-up care? Here, you can clarify what’s needed in the future, whether it’s routine check-ups, further tests or other services.
• If I think of questions when I get home, how can I best communicate with you in the future? Some doctors prefer to stay connected through a patient portal. Others might encourage you to call the office with any questions. Find out what works out best for your situation for everyday matters and for more urgent needs.

Helping someone navigate a challenging period in their life can feel incredibly rewarding. But it can also be a weighty responsibility. As a caregiver, be sure and make your health a priority, and be aware of signs of caregiver burnout. Mayo Clinic lists signs such as feeling overwhelmed or frequently worried, frequent tiredness, getting too much sleep or not getting enough sleep, gaining or losing weight, becoming irritated or angry easily and more (see the full list here).

It’s also important to remember that you’re never alone. There are non-profits, health clinics, care respite programs, hotlines and other options that are a phone call away. To learn about what’s available in Alabama, visit our Caregiver Resources page, and take the time to take care of yourself.